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Funny Stories From The Shop, Podcast Episode 24

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For full show notes, visit the blog at; http://humblemechanic.com/?p=4666 Today I thought it would be fun to take a step back from the technical side of the automotive world. I wanted to share some of the funny things that have happened over the years. It makes me wish I would have written all of these things down. :) Follow the blog at http://humblemechanic.com Follow on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/HumbleMechanic Follow on Twitter https://twitter.com/HumbleMechanic
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Text Comments (262)
strategic services (2 days ago)
What do you do to stand on to reach under the hood of large pickups like F150?? ??? I tried old plastic milk carton but they slip. They are about 9 inches high, 10 inches wide
HumbleMechanic (2 days ago)
If I had to work on them all the time, I’d buy a step stood or a small platform
strategic services (2 days ago)
In upstate New York a technician was bitten by a rattler many yrs ago. He was very ill for a long period of time. It was under the hood .
HumbleMechanic (2 days ago)
Dang. I think I’d quit
fponias (2 months ago)
Gross teenager car. They had been using the center console as an ashtray. It had melted, burned through the carpet, and opened a big hole in front of the automatic shifter. Due to similar negligence, the window controls and climate control were burned out. I replaced the center console, climate controls, window controls, stereo, speakers, door panels, the seats, and the carpet for good measure. There's a lot of this car at my local junkyard so parts were abundant. Ultimately I pulled out $30 in loose change from the seats and over 200 cigarette butts jammed into the transmission hole. ... and that was just the interior.
HumbleMechanic (2 months ago)
Ugh yuck
TheRebuilt1 (2 months ago)
I always had this image of women/girls being sugar and spice and everything nice until I started working on their cars. They are precious but their cars I found out were just as nasty if not nastier than most guys cars.
Ian Zulick (3 months ago)
We had a woman bring in a car for an oil change. I noticed a nail in the sidewall of one of her tires and told her about it, but she was a bit strapped so we just threw on the spare for her. In the trunk was a huge duffel bag filled with dildos of every color, shape, and size you could imagine (turned out she was a traveling sex toy saleswoman and friend of the owner). Another technician and I proceeded to have a sword fight with the two biggest ones we could find.
HumbleMechanic (3 months ago)
Hahahahhaha Hahahahha.
Toolman 5862 (4 months ago)
I was working on a Chevy impala and had to replace a cabin air filter and had to remove the glove box, I found an adult diaper in the glove box
David Baldwin (4 months ago)
A real water treatment story. My uncle was replacing a large sliding gate valve on a sewer line in a street. He told the helper to go up the street to the next pit, and cut off the valve above the repair site.After returning to the pit deep in the street to remove the old valve, the helper standing just behind my uncle, saw him start to slide loose the old valve. Immediately my uncle waved his arm, and said "Get the .." meaning retreat quickly up the ladder.When the helper reached the top of the ladder, He turned to look just in time to see my uncle emerging from the pit covered in sewage bubbling from the manhole, with condoms hanging from his glasses.
Ronald Blackburn (4 months ago)
Found a plastic bag in my air box.
pope86 pope (4 months ago)
Found a mice nest against the firewall with mice still in it. Little baggies of white powder, snakes and a dead fish
Ahmad Ghosheh (4 months ago)
ME: Private, can you show me or tell me how did you process this transaction on the system? The error is next to impossible to do so how do you did it? It will help me close the back door or the problem. PRIVATE Joe: I didn't do it ME: Your name is on the transaction in the database Private. I just want to know the steps you took PRIVATE Joe: But I didn't do it Sargent: Private, this is OK, it's not going to hurt your record. We see you created this transaction so what are the steps that caused the error PRIVATE Joe: I didn't do it. This goes on for 10 minutes before he fessed up the steps. LOL
Robert Franks (4 months ago)
Had a guy who used to peel his lips. Just gross to see, but he had a car and when you're young most people don't. So he was a "friend" of a friend. Me friend would always tell him to come have check out his car when he was having issues. I was just starting out, so could use the work. 1st time I even grabbed the door handle to get in I regretted it. Then get in and grab the steering wheel and keys to start the damn thing without thinking was worse! Oh man, then to actually look at the steering wheel and gear selector! I never actually got to do any work on the car. Just couldn't stomach it! Had to tell my friend to never, never, ever, bring him or that car back around!
F K (4 months ago)
Being in the RV world, the shop bought a used class A gas coach. While inspecting it, we find that you can see floor through the toilet when you flush it. Further investigation leads us to fake plumbing in the compartment where you would dump the holding tanks. Tanks were gone. Nice large cavity to transport whatever you want. Boss told us to reassemble it and they took it to auction.
Josh T (5 months ago)
When I was in school we would take in cars from different people and fix them for the cost of parts. I worked on some pretty bad cars during that time but the worst and most confusing was a Pontiac Grand Am I was going to do head gaskets on. I swear the guy drove it through a sand dune. The airbox, plenum, intake runners, and cylinders were filled with sand as well as the whole exterior of the engine being coated in a sand/oil mix.
James_wiseman NL709 (5 months ago)
Customer and in because the tpms light was on. There tiers were 10 psi or so low on all 4 so I inflated then to the right psi and told her the light should be off now she replied with “no it’s still on” so I said give the tpms a second and she tell me this “there’s no sensors in these tiers there in my summer set at home”
James_wiseman NL709 (5 months ago)
HumbleMechanic long time fan btw. New at this though your Chanel helps me out weekly thanks so much
HumbleMechanic (5 months ago)
Dean Kruse (6 months ago)
I had one today, a young lady bought a car with about 20k miles and came to my shop for an oil change at 46k. It was her first oil change. At 26k miles... it was as black as diesel oil *after* we changed it
Robert Mercado (6 months ago)
Shop full of cars 3 techs and the boss. Pop the truck on an older Lincoln to shut off the suspension and there sat a pile of pictures. My buddy grabs them and ran to a van that was parked in the back. In the van, they continued to laugh over these pics. I had no idea what was going on as I walk to the back looking for the team I see them all sitting in a van that was just dropped off going crazy over something. I ask them "what's going on" then out of nowhere we all hear a ladies voice" why are they all in my van" as the customer walks quickly to the driver side door. I said "I don't know" so I asked them as they handed over the pictures. I look at them and they were pictures of some lady showing it all. So the owner of the van demanded the pictures as she thought it was her property. First thing I thought was she was the lady in the pictures so I handed them over quickly. She looked at them then ran off with them screaming "I'm going to kill my husband" that's when I was told that the pics came out of the Lincoln and the guys all laughed at me. I then think the owner of the Lincoln is going to kill me because she is running around with these pictures. Wow! What a day at the shop!
EvosAndMakeup (8 months ago)
The other day, my coworker found a MASSIVE box of condoms and lube in a trade-in 😂 I know that happens a lot, but it was still hilarious!
HumbleMechanic (8 months ago)
Hahahah. And gross. 😂
brakedd (9 months ago)
If I ever trade in a car, I'm hiding stuff for the used car tech. I've found so much weird shit in trade-in vehicles...minivans being the worst. Did you guys work on many Routan vans? We had an..um.."similar" van in our lineup, which might give you a clue as to where I work
Jason Gillies (9 months ago)
Driving back to the shop from a service call,( im a farm equipment mechanic ) I though I heard something. Get stopped and sure enough my service truck is meowing. Look under the hood, found a stowaway from the guys yard! Threw him in the cab and took him home. Kind of a lucky kitty, he could have gotten the fan belt treatment really easy if he'd panicked.
Chris de Haan (9 months ago)
Back when I was at the dealer we used to get a lot of tools. Cash for Clunkers was interesting, Had a vehicle come in with a broken outer tie rod end and it was wired together with yarn for shits we drove it to the storage lot with the rest of the "clunkers" sad time there were a lot of nice vehicles traded in as junkers :-(
Yes this vid is years old but during a test drive while braking hard a 380 Beretta slid out from under the drivers seat and hit my feet.
Spartan (10 months ago)
The amount of cars I’ve seen that needed to go to the crusher, yet people wanted to be fixed like new... Then there was a Windstar with a window that wouldn’t shut, had electrical issues, owner was a hoarder, then I found the black mold. No idea what happened in the end, but I was done at the point of the mold.
CrazyDuck99 (11 months ago)
I had someone in the auto tech program that would look at something and maybe just maybe try to do but if he was like oh I can’t do this and then expect the teachers to do it. He was know as sponge bob because of his laugh, we also laughed at him because he’d play his hair because he was a pretty boy. 😂 we also had a guy that would try to crush oil filter.
Paul Gysemans (1 year ago)
Worst one I ever found was used tampons under the drivers seat... needless to say I shut the door real quick
Oh, and a completely filthy car with a gift certificate for a free complete detail under a crown royal shifter boot!
I once found a banged up brown section of old house gutter used in the engine bay to feed cold air into the intake! I also found a rusty pair of pliers jammed under the hood latch trim. Damn I love my job hahaha
Monster Schist (1 year ago)
I have worked as an Inspector at a major Fleet redistribution company (auto auction) for ~30 years and the stories that i can tell. Best one is we got a 80's model Blazer in that the Rear Window wouldn't open so we were not able to get the tailgate down to inspect the rear of the Interior, sold the vehicle without fixing the issue, several weeks later we get a visit from the police, the buyer had the Window fixed and they found about 16 Kilos of marijuana in the Door Shell after they removed the Trim Panel. I have found Ant Beds in Cars, Repos full of trash, including diapers, the list goes on. People are gross!!!
HumbleMechanic (1 year ago)
SouthWest Racing (1 year ago)
We once sold a car to the local garage to be used as a courtesy car without realising there were three vacuum cleaners in the back. We had a good laugh about it then forgot about it. More than a year later our new car needed a bit of work so we were given the old one back to use for the week. The vacuum cleaners were still there. More than a year later. Almost died laughing
Remington Fishing (1 year ago)
I can't say how many tools I've found in the engine bay popping the hood on a vehicle I just bought. Hey they're mine now lol! Little Wd-40 and a drop of lubricating oil and they're usually good to go!
Tom Tul (1 year ago)
We had a customer drop off a car at the shop one day complaining that they lost power steering so I lift the hood up start looking and right at the top of the engine i see rat's tail are rats head and guts everywhere and yeah I had to put a belt on it
James O’Connor (1 year ago)
Was doing a service on a s3 and to my surprise I found a dildo under the spare wheel when looking for lock nut. So I stuck it to the bonnet I couldn’t look at the man who’s car it was when he got back.
HumbleMechanic (1 year ago)
EWWW! I had someone use my Amazon link to buy one. I almost hit the floor when I seen it.
Mastersylv95 (1 year ago)
Think the worst thing, really disgusting happened to a coworker of mine. He drives in a car, has his head out threw the window, comes to me and says: sniff inside that car, its really gross, i sniff in and it smells like someone took a dumb in there quite recently, i tell him: bet they have a dog that pooped in yesterday. When he finished the repair he sees the carpet having poop on it and we were like ye someone stepped into dogpoop, justr clean up the carpet and its good. Well 10min later he actually sees the customer, some lady in her 50s and her husband, both poeple not pleasant to look at, looked a bit like homeless tho they def. were'nt. And you saw that there was poo all over the ladis foot from her bottom down all the way into her shoes. Boy never was my coworker happier that he used a seatcover than that day.
Strahinja C (1 year ago)
I currently work in retail I have seen some women that wear dress that you can see thru and they have that look “wtf you looking at”... I dont get why wear it if you dont want people to look at you
Jalopy Joe (1 year ago)
My worst shop experience. My dad is a body and paint guy, and owned his own shop. I would hang around the shop a lot, and even worked summers. When I was 16, and had got my 1st car. Was out detailing it, had just dressed up the tires with some shiny protectant. When the painter came out the booth hopping mad. Turns out, any silicone based products will completely screw a paint job. Learned a valuable lesson that day. Plus spent about 20 hours fixing all the fish eyes. Would have been a $1500 mistake, good thing my dad's a patient guy. Never use armor all around a paint booth.
J. Hunto's Garage (1 year ago)
The fungus amongus! Still watching. ;)
J. Hunto's Garage (1 year ago)
As a general rule, working retail sucks! Usually best as a transitory job towards a better career.
RCWorks (1 year ago)
Did a transmission in a chevy nova, 3 days later the customer comes back wondering why the transmission we put in his car smells so bad. I did the R&R so It comes back to me... It's not the transmission that smells, it's the dead cat on the exhaust manifold doing all the reeking. Customer asks the boss if we'll remove it, the boss tells the customer that it is not our cat. Boss talks to me after the customer leaves(the cat was removed by animal control.) and tells me "I'm not going to ask anyone here to do something I would not do myself." Great boss! May he rest in peace... he was 76 when I left the shop to move closer to my wife to be in 1985.
RCWorks (1 year ago)
Ever find a rattlesnake on top of the gas tank of a car that came in for an in tank fuel pump? I have.
HumbleMechanic (1 year ago)
NO, thank goodness.
RCWorks (1 year ago)
Funny? I did a take your daughter to work day. I am Lead tech and manager so I can so this. I will call her Ms. "D". I am working on her Honda. It in need of a new A/C compressor and all that goes with it. She is a regular customer. She's flirting, trying to make friends with my daughter and is pretty much a shameless husband hunter. I wear no rings for the simple reason I am a tech. She starts doing her usual lines and I retreat to the service bays. My daughter hot on my heels... My daughter says "Dad, that lady is hitting on you!" I said "I know, that is why I ran to the sanctuary of the service bays. Behind us id a door that says 'Employees Only'" My daughter grinned. I am happily married with 2 kids.
ocda3 (1 year ago)
I had a young guy who obviously put a lot of effort into projecting a "hood" image come in with a very nice late model Audi A6. He had only had the car for two or three days, but I found several unopened Magnum condoms scattered throughout in plain sight (I counted five different places.) Still not sure if he was trying to impress us in the shop! Different customer, some kind of SUV, I was working on something under the driver side dash and kept feeling something brushing against my head. I ignored it for a while, but finally got annoyed and went to move it. Turns out it was a hoof and leg portion past the ankle from some sort of small animal, hanging from the wiper stalk on a strap made out of hide. Had one fairly recently, young guy brought in a truck and he was acting very erratic. He randomly laughed maniacally for no apparent reason. He also smelled like... something, smoky but with a chemical tinge. Pulled in the truck and the smell was overwhelming, whatever he smoked it must've been right before he came in. It took several co-workers sniffing the truck before someone identified it as meth :/
Adriel Rowley (1 year ago)
Things found in vehicals Bought a 2002 Jetta VR6, in a hurry (lesson learned). Dad clears out his daughter's stuff. Think all good and drive around for a while (totally stupid and thankfully no drugs). My Brother and Sister-in-law visit, and take them in the Jetta. The latter is in the back seat apparently bored. Then she asks me why I have female body spray! LOL Awkward... We have a laugh and later I clear out and really vacuum. Think never was vacuumed ever in its life, poor thing. So many times had to hold back from puking. And left the body spray in as a joke.
Adriel Rowley (1 year ago)
Funny work experience. Background First, last Summer worked at Sprout's (turns out only hired to fill their quota of "disabled employees) as a bagger. Second, having Autism and just recently getting social skills help, so times I don't say things right. Third, I have a mustache that is almost shoulder width. Lady comes through with a boy about a year old. That boy was staring me down the whole time. As leaving, I playfully ask the boy if I look different. Mother replies "You have a caterpillar crawling across your face", and huffs out of the store. LOL Saw her several times after and she was really nice, guess wasn't having a good day.
Candisa (1 year ago)
Well, we would appreciate it too if we could just forget what we say or do when a situation got too twitchy, so big thumbs up for leaving it at that and just let her act normal the next time. ;-) Yeah, love can be beautiful, didn't have too much luck with it myself and I'll be going back to school (after years of needing help here and there I want to do the same for others, so I'll be studying Social Work in order to help other auti's and people going through rough times) for a few years starting next September, so my priorities and focus will be on other things for a while, but it does make me feel good seeing others in love, especially when the people somehow stand out from the crowd. Anyways, it's late here, running past my bedtime. I enjoyed the conversation. :-)
Adriel Rowley (1 year ago)
Ah, hamster wheeling! Yep, not easy to get off, sometimes have to jump onto another hamster wheel. Because had some training, picked up she was upset, probably one of those where finally boiled over and took it out on someone else. We all have not so good days. In this case, once got over the shock, kept my mouth shut until she was outside and doors closed. Quietly asked the cashier, who understands us, and she herself was surprised. So that ended that. As forgetting prior events, other times after see her, she was super friendly and I acted like nothing had happened. Her and her husband were interesting themselves. He was Indian, very dark complexion, not even five feet, trim build, she was almost paper white complexion, basically six feet tall, and sturdy build. Love is so beautiful.
Candisa (1 year ago)
Yeah, we might get into awkward situations by saying things in a "weird" way or interpreting it literally while it's meant as a joke, but often times I think: "I'm autistic, but what's your excuse?" LOL In "What the hell?"-situations like that, it's best to shrug it off indeed, stick with the routine and keep the processing for later. I used to think I had to react to everything, obviously that was most of the times even more confusing and awkward, definitely not worth letting it get to you and eat away your energy while the other has probably forgotten about it 5 minutes later. :-)
Adriel Rowley (1 year ago)
I have had the mustache for almost five years. Am humble and say fine if that's your opinion. ;p Yep, because the remark was not socially appropriate according to the expert. Interesting even an auti knows not appropriate. ;)
Candisa (1 year ago)
Adriel Rowley Shoulder width!? Holy, that must be an impressive stache! But I can surely imagine the awkwardness of the situation. I'm an auti myself, but I bet such a remark would throw anybody off!
Adriel Rowley (1 year ago)
Please pass me the vomit bag...
HumbleMechanic (1 year ago)
+Adriel Rowley ;)
Chevy Guy (1 year ago)
Had a customer come in so we can trow on some weather tech floor mats and as I'm getting ready to throw them on I open the rear door and to greeted by dog shit on the carpet!!
HumbleMechanic (1 year ago)
That's why they needed the mats. LOL Also gross
Red Phoenix (1 year ago)
@2:46 You must be yunkie yourself to be able to tell it. At least if someone is thorough. ;)
Chris Rodriguez (1 year ago)
In my shop, it's quite common to find either a dead rodent, rodent droppings, or literally... PILES and PILES of dust bunnies inside the air filtre itself or in and around the air filtre box/housing. One time I change a customer pollen filtre on a I think Toyota pick up or a Honda pick up but either way, I find a condom and a dildo in the glove box. The customer was a she and was with her dad and she had mentioned to me (prior to servicing the vehicle when customer was greeted) that it's her dads car and she is only using it for the time being. Yeah, using it REAL well right ? The amount of crap that we find in customers vehicles and amounts of laughs that are partaken is just astounding.
eli Alvarez (1 year ago)
Nothing worse than the rat eating threw a harness I've seen that a couple of times
Benchpress33 (2 years ago)
I was helping my buddy do a custom interior job on a 05 monte carlo belonging to another one of our friends. I'm In the drivers seat tying to make the wrap fit on the A piller when all I hear from the trunk is laughter and him yelling for me to come look so I go back and he lifts up the mat covering the spare tire and there are 4 dildos surrounding the tire apparently it was a "surprise" for his girlfriends birthday we still give him shit for it till this day
HumbleMechanic (2 years ago)
Rahmi Acar (2 years ago)
I had been working for like 14 days in the company and we have this super long trial periods to pass.. anyway.. i get invited to a party near a farm, and I go, but I skip the drinks because im driving.. anyway later on the police comes by and parks up right next to me, two young and nice officers... well they want to know if "they are my sheep" and points down towards the road.. i was completely unaware of them, and in the mean while, my boss sees that im chatting with the police and seems to have somewhat of a wtf moment (understandably) Anyway he asks me what's going on and before the police gets to say anything i reply that well... they where asking me if those are my sheep... and that i anwered, well... that really depends on what they where wearing... Everbody just burst into laughter.. and yeah.. sheep boy...
John N (2 years ago)
This is not something I have found in a car, but a joke played by one of our Diesel Senior Master Techs. We have a tech named Bobby (nickname) and he has a dildo, that he calls Mr. Floppy. This dildo looks like it has been owned by him and sat in the shop for years. The story behind it is that he found it in a used diesel truck traded in by some guy from Montana or somewhere around there. He uses it to haze new people, he throws it at them. We also have this guy who has worked for us for 20 years and just made his Senior Master, so we all threw a pizza party for him and kept playing the graduation song by Vitamin​ C.
twistedtony82 (2 years ago)
i was working at a call center and had a supervisor call because I offered to save the lady 180 dollars
Stan Willems (2 years ago)
in the first month i worked at the shop (i am the new guy) we had a vw golf 6 that smelled weird, so i looked under the hood and see a dead rat burned on the engine. peeling of that thing was not fun..
Cameron Bernard (2 years ago)
I worked at discount tire for some years. and the people upfront would always forget to ask for wheel lock keys so we would have to search for them out back. found multiple things, guns, drugs, pills. but my favorite was a 12 inch hugggge black dido in the glove box. and it was a dudes car.
Anthony Fattore (2 years ago)
So I work at Mazda as a technician... a tech who works next to me had a uci (used car inspection) for those of you who are not familiar with that.. anyways.. out of now where everyone hears the tech next to me yell "ew! Gross!" So we all go to see what's going on.. the guy next to me pulls out a "kamasutra" (not sure if I spelled that right) anyways it's a book about the "art" of love making. With very graphic pictures in it.. the cars previous owner was our financing guy's son's car. So being how we are we put the book on his desk with a note saying "give this back to your son, we don't want it" I thought that would be a good story to tell considering the one in the video about the costume
T.J. Marley (2 years ago)
I worked at a small muffler and repair shop and we had this little quad come in. It was like a kids size quad. Anyway, once we got it running, the boss (a really big man) was riding it around and idk why but it was funny to watch.
bbelvito (2 years ago)
working on cars the 2 things i hate are a sticky interior and when ypu have a alcohol breath thing in your car. i had a customer drop their car off that had both and then she left. lmao the service writer and myself didnt want to touch the car. she came back 5 hours later pissed off that her oil change wasnt done. service writer explained that with the state of the car and the fact of us not wanting to put our lips on the breath taking(the name escapes me) she was calmed down and started her car parked it in my bay and waited. put in the lof sticker and even plugged in the scan tool for her obd2. then drove it out.
Jeremy McMillen (2 years ago)
I work in the airline industry bag opens up dildos blow up dolls whole 9 yards and all we had to put the bag in was a bag that's clear that we usually use for strollers lets just say the next week we get a station-wide email saying we will also now have black trash bags and to use those.
B Pruett (2 years ago)
I had a girls car that I worked on. Kinda friend of mine. Just trying to help the girl out. and her car was disgusting. The funny part was when I was driving the vehicle to hear the sound she had described to me. Im kinda tall 6'1" and shes <=5ft. So I reach under the seat to move it back and my hand comes back with a vibrator that she had stored under the seat. It was crusty?! I put it back and immediately went and grabbed the hand sanitizer. I guess waiting in traffic was a little to boring for her!
rob g (2 years ago)
had a customer complaint of burnt toast smell... found air cleaner full of dog food.
Jessie M. (2 years ago)
I found a mcdonalds burger under the back seats... also a rotten red pepper next to it the guy said Something smells from the back i went to interner cleaning but the smell didn't go away guys please check out whats going on in the car i have even found spider web in peoples cars wtf :D
Broscro (2 years ago)
The fuck dude- why do u think ppl care enough to try to fool u? I dont smoke weed but if i did why the fuck would i care that ur mechanic ass can tell haha
HumbleMechanic (2 years ago)
+Broscro lol I enjoyed reading your comment thread Hahahahha
Broscro (2 years ago)
Honestly dont fucking listen to me, i woke up early, im at work, i searched 'funny podcast' to get me thru it, and this shit obviously isnt comedy.
Broscro (2 years ago)
like the dude thinks hes so important. mechanics are dispensable.
Robert Vanmeter (2 years ago)
I working for a shop, I can't remember what the customer brought their car in for, but I got to get it and bring it in. nothin but trash through nearly the entire car, only area you could get in was the driver side. needless to say I refused that job.
Adam Lemus (2 years ago)
I'm a Automotive cosmetic restoration and maintenance technician (auto detailer) and the shit we see in these cars sometimes haunts me in my sleep. About 17 or so years ago when I was around 18 I was cleaning a customers car and prepping it for a full shampoo when I removed the lower back seat I found a stash of child porn polaroids. Took everything I had to not kick the guys teeth in and I reported it to the cops. Turned out the guy was a prolific child molester. That sucked that was the worst most other things I find are no where near that level of fucked up
HumbleMechanic (2 years ago)
HOLY SHIT!!!! That dude just needed a dirt nap...
underneaththesilence (2 years ago)
At BMW we found chunks of flesh from a squirrel or something under a new Z4. The customer was complaining about a fowl smell as well as some other stuff. The genius tech i was working with used pliers to pull a chunk of cooked flesh off the cat, held it up to his face and smelled it.. Not what i would do but hey, to each his own.
Nicholas Kehren (2 years ago)
This is flippin hilarious man! I want to see more of this kind of storytelling stuff. Would you please? Thanks for the laugh
I once found a stash of hardcore porn mags under the spare wheel of one car. The guy was a well to do family man. I have also found stashes of weed too. Rotten mouldy food and stuff is the norm too. Also once found a large zip tie bag of ecstasy and LSD tabs in a glovebox. Oh I almost forgot. One car came in for a valet, the drivers seat had lots of candle wax soaked in, at around the groin area of the seat !!!
danny williams (2 years ago)
yes we've all seen some nasty stuff b4 in cars! also nasty smells! oh yeah the people are just as gross!
Tom Markert (2 years ago)
While doing a state inspection (required in PA) I opened a college girls glove box to retrieve her insurance and registration cards. Saw an envelope and figured that was it. NO, it was full of some very naughty pictures of her in various Victoria secrets type outfits and also nudes.
had a mouse hitch a ride and it got into my blower , turned on the ac full blast and heard it smoosh and yelp. (hearing aids give me super human hearing ) I knew what was wrong and how to fix it myself, but I had surgery and couldn't bend because of the stitches. walked my ex through it, he screamed like a bitch. I finished it. went elk hunting a few weeks later and he passed out at the site of me field dressing that bad boy ( he was a trophy too!!) and when i got a prarie dog with a bow ans arrow!! that's when I realized that I didn't have a boyfriend, I had a prissy girlfriend. he's gone :)
TheMrbutternubs (2 years ago)
working at a big ford dealership. you are bound to get some funny stories time from time. i was working in used car at the time and i was doing a fuel pump in a subaru outback. to get to the fuel pump you have to go through the back seat. my luck the was a total mess on the back seat and the rear floor boards soo EVERYTHING had to come out. sifting through used panties, bras, and misc other clothing. i lift a beach towl and the was a small red box behind the drivers seat. i picked it up to remove it from the vehicle. and read the lable... i specificly remember the customer mourning over the loss of her father when she brought it in. anyways that red box was her father... his ern to be exact. that was definatly one eye opening story
Arturo Perez (2 years ago)
brother i got a little old truck from a construction guy and when I got it home I notice that the floor shifter knob will not pop back every time I will select a gear so I drove the truck like that for over a year, I drove to mexico and back on it and as you know crossing any border you will have the narcotic police and the dog will sniff your car weather you like it or not well long story short  when I finally decided that I wanted to fix that knob  I opened and I found a little bag with crystal in it you have no idea how bad I felt knowing that I had just crossed a border with that stuff in my car
james mcroberts (2 years ago)
I put starting fluid or either in my carb and long story short my valve covers ended going sky high blowing up outta the car
William Arrington (2 years ago)
Was doing building maintenance. I had 2 people that sat next to each other. One had a medical condition where they were hot all the time. the other was on blood thinners. They would each all can complain it was too hot or too cold multiple times per day. We would just tell them we changed it and it takes time.... we never change it.
Random Will (2 years ago)
We have a smoke machine at the dealership that we use for finding leaks in charge air coolers and turbo hoses. Well me and the other second shift tech I worked with decided to stick the nozzle of the machine under the door to our service office where our second shift supervisor was. We gave it a good five minutes before we went in the back door to the office to see if there was noticeable smoke. Well there sure was. Luckily the second shift supervisor was a cool guy so he got in a good laugh with us.
AnarchistMetalhead (2 years ago)
architecture office: "why did you open this room upwards?" "to the bottom there"s already concrete" "what about the side?"
Mixmaster Festus (2 years ago)
when i had just gotten my first car my 96' jetta, in the air cleaner box was a rock the size of my fist, but the air filter it's self was like brand new
Rick James (2 years ago)
why does hm only do wolkswagon.
HumbleMechanic (2 years ago)
+Rick James I am a VW dealer tech. ;)
Mathieu Beland (2 years ago)
had a car that came in on a tow truck, the engine would start but wouldnt run more than 2 seconds. when I took out the airbox, there was a big hole in the filter and there was a squirrel's nest full of live babies. there was a small bit of filter paper caught in the MAF so the engine couldnt run.
Johnny Friesen (2 years ago)
Had a lady bring her van into the shop for a white fluid leak from the rear of the vehicle. Intrigued we rush to check this thing out cuz there shouldn't be any white fluid anywhere in a car... Turns out she had picked up some groceries and one of her milk jugs was broken and had spilled milk all under the rug... Good thing she didn't ask us to clean it up for her :)
mrbirk626 (2 years ago)
Not a mechanic. I work at a small company as a ready mix truck driver. Being a small company we only have two dedicated diesel mechanics, so we (the drivers) end up doing a lot of little odds&ens like swapping lights and checking/adding fluids, geese, antifreeze, etc to keep our rigs on the road. Everybody knows the old mechanic jokes muffler bearings, headlight fluid, and the like. We had one guy spend an hour and a half looking all over the shop for brake fluid. He than went to the supervisor asking about it. Where he was informed that ready mix trucks have air brakes like every other heavy commercial truck. How this guy managed to get to were he was in the trucking industry is beyond me, but we all had a grate big laugh, and got on with the day.
evilvalis (2 years ago)
I work at BMW. the whole trunk of a E90 was full of porn, sex toys, etc. The shit we see in shops at dealerships in just priceless at times
HumbleMechanic (2 years ago)
+evilvalis hahahah hope you didn't touch the steering wheel or shifter.
James Taylor (2 years ago)
Before I post my stories about when I was a mechanic in the Army. Let me share a this link http://bofh.bjash.com/ it is a list of stories I used to read while I sat in a cubicle on the graveyard shift waiting for some clueless customer to call me to ask me where the "any key" was on his computer keyboard. Back to my Army days, I don't know what it is but new guys are always the best subjects for jokes. Maybe because they where the same guy who would come in at 4:45 on a friday and ask for help on their truck. So when these clean shaven fresh out of boot camp newbies would show up with a problem on friday afternoon we would ask if they filled out a DD 2404 (department of defense request for repair form) Dont ask me why but I think the military has a form for everything not limited to a request to use the latrine. I am sure you technicians dont do a lot of work with out a service request written up first. In any case these new guys never had these forms filled out and at 4:45 in afternoon on a friday there is no way in heck I am going to go out in the snow to crawl on the ground to look at a truck without a DD2404. So we would tell them the needed to fill one out before we could start work. These new guys always asked, 'where do I get one?" Well there is one in the truck with the vehicle notebook, but if they are asking us, they dont know. So we tell them we just ran out and send them over to Alpha company maintenance office to get one. The mechanics at alpha company knew the game and they would send them over to headquarters company maintenance to get one because they where fresh out. The mechanics as Headquarters company would send them to Bravo Company and by this time it was usually 5 p.m. and there where closed. And we where on our way to drink beer for the weekend. When they would come back on Monday morning, before we had a chance to even get our first cup of coffee down they would show up with a DD2404 they got from their Sargent. Tired from drinking all weekend, I would reluctantly go look at the truck. It was surely in need of maintenance. And the sound it was making could uselessly be fixed by either new muffler bearings, a grid square (a grid square is a box on a map that denotes 1000 square miles) or some other thing illogical part that we where fresh out of but could probably found by talking to another maintenance company who knew the game was still on and would send them around the motor pool from maintenance office to maintenance office. After these guys learned the rules of the motor pool they started showing up on Monday with a with donuts and DD2404 in hand prepared to wait the allotted time it would take a mechanic to finish a cup of coffee.
Hollidux (2 years ago)
i work on radar systems and the funniest stories i have off the back of my hand is that one time we had a new guy shock his balls with a milliohm meter to go home early, and he didnt have a car so he ended up staying until shift change anyway. the second would be that a new guy from another section came and asked us if our support section carried fallopian tubes. we were rolling from that one
superbestdad (2 years ago)
My best critter story is a Buick that came in with a skip on his 6 cylinder. Quickly found injector wires chewed in two next to a small pile of poop on one of the front cylinders very easy to get to and repair. I replaced the connector/wire and sent the guy on his way. A week later the car rolls back in...same thing, same cylinder, new pile-o-poop. I repaired the wiring again, this time I slipped some small vacuum tubing on the two wires before I soldered it up. Sent him in his way once again. A week later, here it comes again. I already had my wiring tools in hand before he got out of the car. Same thing, same cylinder. Chewed through the tubing and wires. New pile-o-poop. This time I went all out. New connector/wiring, more vacuum tube, steel wool loosely wrapped in the area. Sent him on his way with jokes of how that pest wouldn't mess with all that stuff. A couple days later the car gets towed in with a no run condition. Pretty quick check basically just looking for remnants of cooper wire debris...found it! The mouse, in apparent retaliation, had chewed through about 20 wires in the main engine harness. Cost the guy around 500 or 600 if memory serves and I couldn't help but think that the mouse had been watching every time I repaired the vehicle. Except now with a little grin.
mapleleaf4ever (2 years ago)
Opening up Cessna Citation X belly-panel for a valve replacement. Drop the exterior panel and what falls out but a strip of mirror 9" long by 2.5" wide! Somehow this item was between the belly panel and fuel tank access for at least two years!
T Linrin (2 years ago)
had a guy bring his car in because it was meowing. it took us about 30 minutes to coax a dehydrated but otherwise healthy kitten off the top of the transmission.
Mopar Volkswagen (2 years ago)
carries a boatload? haha I have one of those, lol love your vids, not into the newer VW's at all, but love hearing you talk about being a tech, my dad was a 5 star vw tech and later a Chrysler tech. not one myself, no good at it, but do my own work on my bus, and daily,s
Jennifer Anne (2 years ago)
Long long ago I worked at a car wash, I happened to be the only person there who actually had a drivers license and could drive a stick, so I was a porter, I'd take their keys, drive the car to the tracks, vacuum it and dump the ashtrays, then I would wash the inside Windows and wipe the vinyl while it rolled down the tracks, then I'd drive it to the hand dryers and then to the detailers who then gave it back to the customer. Anyway, I'd find so much weed in the ashtrays, I'd get baked at lunch everyday for free, I also got to drive some really cool and expensive cars, even though only 2 miles an hour for a couple minutes, lol...
Tiernan Morgan (2 years ago)
When my Grandpa retired he stopped driving his beat up 1996 Chevy Lumina and parked it on the street only starting and moving it about once a month. After several years we got it roadworthy(ish) again and we were driving it around he opens the armrest compartment and pulls out a box of low calorie cookie wafer candy things that must have been in the car for at least a year and eats some of them.... i told him that eating that was gross but then i figured "if you cant beat 'em join 'em" They actually weren't half bad. When the same Grandpa worked as a mechanic for the Post office, early in his career , he was working on a transmission or something when his neighbor on the next lift called him over quietly and told him to watch the new guy do his first oil change on a semi truck. The entire shop stops and watches as new guy goes and gets a tiny 1 gal. drain pan and proceeds to take the drain plug out. The plug launches across the shop as like 12 gallons of hot oil starts gushing out. totally covering the shop floor and new guy . The whole shop roars with laughter and only my grandpa helps him clean up.
Matthew Polley (2 years ago)
Another one at a parts store. Had a customer call late one night as we were getting ready to close. They were getting off the highway because the car wouldn't accelerate and they were trying to make it home. They were desperate so I helped them out. I laid out some tune-up parts for them and some Heet to remove water from the fuel. They had no codes, no warning lights, etc. I went to change the air filter and found a plastic grocery bag had gotten sucked up into the airbox cutting off almost all airflow. Removed the bag, replaced the filter, and they were good to go. The tipped me $20 which was awesome as a broke college student
Matthew Polley (2 years ago)
Working in a parts store, I had a customer ask me to scan his check engine light. When we got out to the car, he said, "Hang on a second" and grabbed his still-lit blunt out of the ash tra and proceeded to continue smoking weed while I scanned his car
Matthew Polley (2 years ago)
The shop I worked at has a very loyal customer. He is a scatterbrained older gentleman but very nice. Our second location also had a used car dealership as well, which he bought a Trailblazer from. He calls us frantically from the side if the road one day saying he felt a lot of heat and thought the car was going to catch on fire, and he had already called the fire department. Fire department arrives, and discovers that the car is 100% okay, turns off the seat heater, and returns to the firehouse. Customer later traded the car back in because he still "didn't feel safe"
Matthew Polley (2 years ago)
A parts rep brought in some display batteries that are just basically hollow plastic casings. One of our kids that mopped floors and things picked one up and walked over and tossed it at another shop hand. He jumped expecting a 60lb battery. When he realized it was fake, he threw the thing back hitting the other kid in the head, who then stepped in a spill, did the Scooby Doo and fell into a tool cart. I watched the security camera footage about 20 times
Matthew Polley (2 years ago)
I have several funny stories from that shop. Posting a couple more
HumbleMechanic (2 years ago)
HAHAHAHHAHA, I would have watched that too
scott web (2 years ago)
My 69 GMC developing a bad starter in a blizzard, in the mud parked right in front of my nice heated garage - yes.
Jimmy Landin (2 years ago)
one of the funniest things i have seen was very recent, i had just started working at my local VAG shop and one guy got a S4 in because it ran bad, but on the mirror there was 1 g-string hanging....
Noah Kuzel (2 years ago)
As far as the whole marijuana thing is concerned; if you find marijuana the moral high ground thing to do is to call the police and have them do the seizure. If you were to take it or take it and dispose of it, technically that is considered theft. However the other thing you could do is just pretend you didn't see that.
Salty Gaming (2 years ago)
I worked at a large used car dealer. I found a DVD binder full of hardcore porn maybe 100 plus movies in it. Also have found a live black widow crawling around the intake.
SouthJerseySound (2 years ago)
After almost 20 years in the towing business I could go on for hours about crazy stuff and funny stories.But 2 recent ones that come to mind are, #1 was a dirty cop (we didnt know he was a cop) was involved in a accident.Well he was kind of a smart a** so when a few grand and a lot of drugs fell out from under the dashboard while it was on the hook.We decided to call our friend in the local PD.Well the detective and I put the package back in its hiding spot and waited for the owner to come get it.Anyway the prick came and showed his badge,took the stuff and was promptly arrested lol. #2 Was a guy that was receiving a oral gift of some sort from his girlfriend as they pulled into the motel parking.Well as small motels here go,the parking is usually around the pool separated by a fence.Apparently he never put the car into park and as he finished his foot went from jamming the brake to slamming the gas pedal :D and the SUV jumped the curb and ended up in the pool............Worst part for him was that he needed to explain this all to his wife LOL
Robert Dale (2 years ago)
OKay i did this a loooong time lots of true gross OMG and WTF stories..Ok i was the DM and i was in one of our shops that was 'lucky' enough to have a tubing bender and a guy who was good with it..did a lot of custom exh...So i am passing out paychecks when i get a frantic call from the counter girl that the shop was on fire.I was only about 10 mins so flew,by the time i got there the whole front of the shop every bay have smoke and fire rolling out and the fire trucks were and it was a mad house..4 cars on the racks all of them are toast ( no pun intended )....Manager comes over and i am like WTH happen..seems one of the techs had just done a dual job on a 64' Galaxie and it had a tail pipe rattle..Not a big deal sooooo give tell me how we got from a tail pipe rattle to this..Well seems the tech got the bright idea he would heat the pipe and Buba his buddy tech would use his 5ft long uber Snap On pry bar to bend it down..Yeah..So they are at it at the pry bar slips punchs a big ass hole in the tank and the gas that came streaming was instantly set afire we had a fire water fall...so these guys rather than run up front ran across the street and called from the Chinese food restaurant and told everyone to run the shop was on fire..God i wish i was making that part up..We had to of course take care of the customers,the old Ford was the hardest it was a 4 speed 390 car with a 428 in it.That took a few months.Shop was closed for a few weeks both of the dumb ass tech's who ran across the street and caused all the damage were let go..and i do believe one of the cust sued them not for certain it was just a rumor.Had a huge bill in rental cars.Had to get a different insurance company the damage got into 6 figures...
Gabriel Hernandez (2 years ago)
Oh god! Hahaha I don't know if I should laugh or be grossed about the seat pick and wipe... hahaha
HumbleMechanic (2 years ago)
+Gabriel Hernandez hahaha it's gross

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