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5 Funny Stories from r/Idontworkherelady

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www.patreon.com/funwithfailure Thanks for joining me on this edition of Fun with Ret’Hell Episode 5. I choice 5 funny Reddit stories from retail experiences. I hope you enjoy! And More?! If you have a story you want to submit, please send it to [email protected] You can read these and other stories at www.reddit.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/funwithfailure 1) If only he asked nicely I could have told him I don't work here. self.IDontWorkHereLady by Greyzilla https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/82cdp7/if_only_he_asked_nicely_i_could_have_told_him_i/ 2) She was just a human being asking another human being for a hand. self.IDontWorkHereLady by lolathebora https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/828ioy/she_was_just_a_human_being_asking_another_human/ 3) I want to speak to your manager!! self.IDontWorkHereLady by rmp26 https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/82fhuf/i_want_to_speak_to_your_manager/ 4) My 3 Year Old Students Read Better Than You self.IDontWorkHereLady by irradiatedcutie https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/7lzl6a/my_3_year_old_students_read_better_than_you/ 5) Lady just wastes her own time, thinks she "won" self.IDontWorkHereLady by POSmorelikePieceOfSh https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/5f2k2l/lady_just_wastes_her_own_time_thinks_she_won/ 6) If I work here then what's my name? self.IDontWorkHereLady by MooseWhisperer09 https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/82wpki/if_i_work_here_then_whats_my_name/ 7) No I don’t work here... if I did it wouldn’t look like this! self.IDontWorkHereLady by fatvirgin420 https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/82ldvi/no_i_dont_work_here_if_i_did_it_wouldnt_look_like/ 8) Third time's the-- aw dammit! self.IDontWorkHereLady by kolkolkokiri https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/81inbj/third_times_the_aw_dammit/ 9) Just don't grab people self.IDontWorkHereLady by sadlilpotato https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/80uxyu/just_dont_grab_people/ 10) Gas station attendant self.IDontWorkHereLady by SargTeaPot https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/80sprr/gas_station_attendant/ Music by Kevin MacLeod “Monkeys Spinning Monkeys”, “BossaBossa” Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Art: Commons.wikimedia.org, Pixabay, Beachfront B-Roll, Gratisography, and Freerange Stock Sound Effects: Freesound.org If you want to see other content by me, please subscribe to my channel. Like and Comment on the video, this really helps all Youtubers. Most, if not all, take a lot of effort to produce and they work hard to provide quality material for you.
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Text Comments (648)
Poor Redneck World (18 hours ago)
Oh HELL NO !!!! I WOULD HAVE PRESSED CHARGES AGAINST THEM IN THE LAST STORY....... THAT IS BULL SHIT...!!!! I would have lost my mind if I actually got stopped by cops because if them. ONFG !!!!!!!
1guncrazy1 (4 days ago)
I work on Point Of Sale systems too. People must show with their eyes closed as they just wonder right into the lanes I'm working on despite signs/cones/carts/etc blocking the lane
Mandy B (12 days ago)
That last one, not sure if I'd have gone through with pressing charges, but I would ask the cops to take them both into custody and go through the whole fingerprint, photo, check to see if there are any outstanding warrants etc. Maybe then they'd learn their lessons! I don't know if this would happen these days but back around 1990 (give or take a year), a neighbour was pulling her hair out over her eldest's increasingly bad behaviour, despite her and her husband's best efforts (they were damned good parents: the kids had boundaries and age-appropriate chores, but they were allowed to be kids). He was getting into trouble at school (I think he was about 12). Well her husband had a mate who was a local copper. He "arrested" the lad, went through the above procedure and basically put the fear of god in him - he was put in a cell for a couple of hours. By the time his dad came to collect him, he was crying his eyes out and promised to behave. A couple of years later he babysat for us, he was that good (his parents lived over the road - literally a shout away, and he knew we were in the pub at the end of our dead-end street (Victorian terraces, in an old dockyard, so the workers' houses were crammed together and virtually every street in that part of town had its own pub!), so he wasn't bring left alone exactly. But he really turned out to be the sort of kid all parents should be glad to have. The old copper did him a big favour!
L. Doc. (1 month ago)
This is THE BEST!!! I haven't laughed so hard in AGES!!!! Even the gas station attendant says he doesn't work there - THERE'S YOUR SIGN!!!!!
Gamer Knight (1 month ago)
Why isnt the story on the screen this sucks
Patrick W (1 month ago)
first video of yours I've seen, just had to subscribe.
Angel Feather (1 month ago)
Great stories!
Sharolyn Wells (2 months ago)
"You will do as I demand or I will get you fired." "I don't work here." You lazy, good-for-nothings!" "Lady, if I was really lazy, I'd be home, vegging, eating KFC and drinking Dr. Pepper, and watching Jeopardy."
escalad89 (2 months ago)
Your voice makes these sooo much funnier!
Nuker Wolf (2 months ago)
Definitely would have pressed charges even if my car is a dump some people just need to be punished
Beckie Hubley (3 months ago)
Man-child creche...too funny.
Mr Wiseman (3 months ago)
Damn uber driver was too soft.
Sparen66 (3 months ago)
Wow. Really loved #10
corawellsome (3 months ago)
Aww the old guy is a sweetheart. And on the last one i would have charged there ass's they need to learn from their stupidity
Dennis Bell (3 months ago)
I would have asked the Police to drop them off right there. Make them walk back! Even if it was only 1k , karma.
Brian McClenahan (3 months ago)
I would have definitely pressed charges just for the fun of seeing them squirm.
Zagan Stoanes (3 months ago)
What was in the womans hand bag that is strong enough to leave a dent when thrown?
Dalton Kay (3 months ago)
For the target one, if I had the time, I would toooootallyyy follow her to the office and let her try and prove to me how I worked there. The slow realization would be priceless lol. Oh and it wouldn’t hurt to request some payment since I’d apparently been working and hadn’t been paid yet
Alvin Fletcher (3 months ago)
Honestly. The gas station job, I totally would have filled up diesel haha.
Kalierdarke KD (3 months ago)
"Would you like to press charges?" The answer is always yes, people like that need to learn. Granted, they won't, but hey, can't make stupid mistakes expecting not to get punished. I've been punished or accused so many times for things I didn't do that I have 0 sympathy for people expecting they are above punishment.
LOUISE CHACON (3 months ago)
Should have told Target lady, "Well, you're a lousy boss. You never pay me."
LOUISE CHACON (3 months ago)
Funny, how every employee at Walmart is on their phone and no manager says nothing. Oh wait, they are also on their phones.
Cathy Vickers (3 months ago)
The punchline would be if the last guy delivered food to one of the ladies, wearing the same hoodie, giving excellent service, & telling them his manager's name & contact info.
bobbi mke (3 months ago)
p.s. Does "serial port guy" also repair "Green Stamps" dispensers?
bobbi mke (3 months ago)
You fixed a fawking SERIAL port? WOW! Say "hello" to the 19th century for me, 'eh? Do you also replace hand-cranks on cash registers, besides, too? (cf https://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&q=hand%20crank%20cash%20register&tbs=imgo:1 )
biobiobio7777 (3 months ago)
I love the voices! Especially the gas station!
Jean Strong (3 months ago)
I was mistaken for a restaurant employee once but the person apologized immediately. I am only five feet tall, but can escalate from perfectly nice and friendly to "Touch me again and I will fucking shoot you" in the coldest deepest voice you will ever hear from a female this small and am not the least bit afraid to raise my voice firmly.
Living Corpse (3 months ago)
When I was mistaken for an employee at a Walmart it was pretty mundane. I just told them I didn't work there and they apologized. The End.
Pheonix 282115 (3 months ago)
Are people actually this incompetent? Getting close to finishing high school and i actually started to get excited about getting out on my own, now I wanna go back to primary school where everything is f***ing sunshine and rainbows.
Pheonix 282115 (3 months ago)
Seeing “congratulations, you’re stupid” before the barcode appeared legit made me crack up.
Naota Kenichi (3 months ago)
That target lady has no authority calling anyone a bad employee, what kind of manager doesn't know the names of their own staff, how do you manage, train, and supervise people you don't know? Maybe she was a transfer or something...
Lukas Jampen (3 months ago)
If I was in a sitiation like the last post I would press charges just to teach those idiots a lesson. Even if the car already has dents or was stole, it is still someone ELSES property and you have no right to damage it. And even if he was a worker, beeing rude af is unnacceptable.
Alex FRD (3 months ago)
That one 17 minutes in belongs in prorevenge.
Fox Fire (3 months ago)
i like you voice
JEL625 (3 months ago)
Oh my i HAVE to listen to that last story again
Mr Benito (3 months ago)
What part of "I don't work here" do people not understand? I've gone up to people who look like they work there (similar uniform) and they say those words. I apologise and go find an employee.
HannahYael (3 months ago)
Just subscribed today! I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL
Fun With Failure (3 months ago)
HannahYael thank you very much
Some random ghost 19 (3 months ago)
The last one was really funny. I also loved the guy who bought the Xbox game and booked it out of there lol
Ameute (3 months ago)
14:00 Wow... like. I’m bad with names and faces at work. But I could never picture a manager... well, there are kids who do sneak away so I can understand her being mad. Maybe if customer sow you and thought you worked there. But how hard is it for a manager to take note of who’s working that day? Or take a hint? Even if you where lying she could fire you later.
E Jensen (3 months ago)
And I get soooo embarassed should I mistake another customer for an employee. Hmm...people are different!
spydersangel (3 months ago)
Stupid old biddies 😠
Angel Martinez (3 months ago)
I won't have pressed charges but I would have asked the cops to scare them a little
TooManyHungryCats! (3 months ago)
I sometimes instinctually greet people at other stores or when im off the clock.
Papasquat123 (3 months ago)
22:11 I DONT WORK HERE!! the frustration in these words is very real sounding. nice job XD
flashstudiosguy (3 months ago)
I hope as the final guy drove away, he looked back to see the Officers giving the two Crazy Ladies a VERY STRICT Lecture on Wasting Police Time and telling them they should be lucky Driver Guy isn't pressing charges for Damage to his Property. Lesson for ya, Crazy People: the Police are NOT your personal slaves AND CAN and WILL bite you in the ass!
MoonFairy929 (3 months ago)
Of all the reddit stories i LOVE IDontWorkHereLady the best!
Justin Brooks (3 months ago)
"'I don't work here lady' the movie" lol!
kiwi-on-a-bike 660 (3 months ago)
I would have asked the officer if he could just let them stew in a cell for a couple of hours.
Reaper TX17 (3 months ago)
F*ck it I'd do the same to the 1st f*cker.
Ren Dori (3 months ago)
omg that last one got me in hysterics. if it was me being autistic it would have caused a meltdown if it had actually been happening to me and i would defo have pressed charges.
Kantean Nightmare (3 months ago)
Always press charges
Kantean Nightmare (3 months ago)
If I was that target guy, I would've went to the office. That would have been f'n great.
ZODARIAN ! (3 months ago)
Never underestimate the power of screaming at someone like a bloody lunatic! I also find it pretty telling that most of these stories involve women.
Findlay Robertson (3 months ago)
Story 6, I think I would have gone to the office, if only to get her name so I could report her. Story 10, he should have pressed charges.
Jacob Berry (3 months ago)
I dont believe the asian one
Revadarius (3 months ago)
God. Damn. Last OP should have pressed charges - they literally set themselves up. THEY PUT THEMSELVES IN THE FUCKING COP CAR! Would have been perfect, biblical even.
Janglenutter (3 months ago)
Man I was confused for a Wal-Mart employee like four years after I quit, in a store I never worked in, while wearing tan 5.11 tactical pants, my fucking duty belt and thigh holster (with my sidearm in it), a green polo and a ballistic vest with giant reflective letters that said "SECURITY". I was there getting a sandwich because I didn't want gas station food and Taco Bell was the only place near me I could eat while at work and it was closed. So while driving between client properties I stopped in to get food. Once I got back to the deli, some couple, yep Karen and her husband, approached me and demanded I go and check in the back for a book shelf. I just looked at them and walked away. I get up front to buy my food and there they are, screaming at a poor CSM who had no idea what was going on. Karen's husband then sees me, and like a fucking idiot, approaches me and got inside my personal space to start yelling at me. Remember what I said I was wearing? Yeah, loaded fucking gun, can of OC spray, baton... (But no taser, not certified to use one nor do I own one) The works. At this point the dude drew the attention of the stores contracted security guard. Poor unarmed security guard walks up to see what's going on, before anyone can say anything else I told her to stay back and call the police. Guy hears the word police and he turned and ran out of the store. Meanwhile Karen is still yelling at the poor CSM. I pay for my food, and call my boss to tell him I'm going to be off all sites for a while and what just happened. Cops showed up about two minutes after the call because the stores security told them some guy was screaming at an armed security guard and they were worried he might get himself shot. Two weeks later, I'm on our problem site, one that had been robbed four times under our care. (We weren't incompetent, they hit when we were off duty) It's like 1 in the morning and I've parked the car in a line of used cars and cut the lights and engine to watch the spot of the property where the break ins occurred. And who do I see looking at cars? Fucking Karen and her husband. So first thing I do, call my boss at like 1 in the morning and tell him who I see. I was told to call the police and then get them off the lot. So I called the sheriffs office because they're literally 4 minutes down the road from where I was at and the police were about 20, and when a deputy showed up I slid over to that side of the lot and told her the whole story from two weeks prior, then we made our approach. I initiated contact, told them I remember them and hope they were fine from the other night, and then firmly told them they could not be on the lot outside of normal business hours and that they had to leave. Karen flips her shit and starts screaming, her husband, clearly very agitated, stomps towards me. At that point, my sidearm came out of the holster and I went into myself from my main job, which was a correctional officer. Went from nicest guy in the world to I'm about to make you bite the fucking curb faster than you can blink, like Dark Helmet to Darth Vader. The deputy pops out to my right taser out and laser bouncing around the guys chest. Karen screamed and backed off. Once the deputy came out I got quiet and let her give the commands, after all, I'm just a security guard, she's the actual law enforcement officer. Dude see's he's about to be tased and possibly shot, so he complied with her commands. Both of them went to jail that night for misdemeanor trespassing. And no, those two weren't the thieves from the thefts mentioned earlier, they were just trying to look at cars without a salesman harassing them, they're just assholes. Those guys were caught a month later when they stole a Porsche that had a GPS tracker in it.
Jack Hack (3 months ago)
That last story pisses me off. The fuckwad wouldn't press charges? Stupid shit for brains ruins the world for the rest of us. Now these assbitches completely get away with it!!!!!!!!!! I fucking HATE when people act like their so nice and don't press charges. YOU are the problem. Bitch ass whores won't learn their lesson if you keep acting like a fucking pussy. Fuck you pussy.
Long Duck (3 months ago)
Naw I wouldn't of press charges..
Kasimier (3 months ago)
okay I feel kinda bad now, I'm normally a really nice and polite person, but when I have a bad day I don't bother to show it. I'm still trying to be nice but if someone is rude I don't even try to be nice to them, at that point they just fucked up. It's one of the reasons I don't want to work with customers directly. But now I feel bad since so many people seem to struggle with human interaction, rude people or just plain confrontations. If I ever see someone harrasing another person I will step in. For an example, I would have pressed charges.
StormEyes1991 (4 months ago)
My Dad has a hi-vis jacket that he wears when he's on contract working on an oil rig or a large ship. He wears it in public too because it's waterproof. He cannot count the number of times he's been wearing it at the train station and someone has asked him the train times because hi-vis jacket=rail worker in so many people's heads.
DraconicRain (4 months ago)
I like to wear either all black or all blue most days, so people sometimes mistake me for an employee. Never had any real jerks confront me though.
R. Weird (4 months ago)
What specific accent is that, @Fun With Failure? I know it's Southern, but what state? (<- curious Aussie, who finds different regional US accents interesting in how dramatically they differ)
Dr. Etzor (4 months ago)
14:50 Oh i would have called the cops right in front of her "Hello, there's a Employee in Target attempting to steal from me and she's yelling at me rudely for no reason, she's probably going to assault me so she can rob me"
rivahkillah (4 months ago)
That first story BELONGS in r/PettyRevenge
Ace Blazer (4 months ago)
I wanna see someone turn the tables and start asking one of these mongs if they can see their manager
Luke Warmwater (4 months ago)
I would give the first dude whatever he paid for that game, simply because that was a funny story!
Neurotically Incorrect (4 months ago)
I literally have the opposite problem. I'm disabled with mobility devices, and people will assume i don't work here to the most ridiculous levels. For example I'm literally next to the table near the back, with the register, my coffee, and filling out paperwork. A guy comes up to me and says "Youmust really like this store, you've been here all day! I saw you yesterday too!" News flash: disabled people work too.
Samuel Moretz (4 months ago)
Is your profile image koro sensei from a anime called assassination classroom
Matty Puppy (4 months ago)
I would've LOVED to have a manager call me back to their office! Imagine their reaction when they realize! XD
Me: 「an Emo girl at Hot Topic」 LiNdA:um, check me out, a**hole Me: uh, I don't work here, but she does LiNdA:I SAID CHECK ME OUT Me: 「walks away 」
mutation333 (4 months ago)
For that last one, if she had dented a brand new car I just got, yes, I would press charges to have the dent fixed, painted, and have a verbal apology for harassing me.
PotterBrony82 (4 months ago)
I would have pressed charges and hope the resolution of the gas stations cameras aren't good, because I'd have claimed all the dents were new.
Rikard Nilsson (4 months ago)
15:00 He should have flipped the situation and asked to see her supervisor about store employees harassing customers.
Dragon LeHeart (4 months ago)
I’ve watched a lot of YouTube videos since YouTube started years ago. So far this one is my all time favorite. I look forward to watching more of these videos in the future 😀
Blind Babbler (4 months ago)
Number 8 was pretty cute.
Valdemire Kreshnov (4 months ago)
He could have brought the Xbox game back a couple of days later and got a refund.
THEEND4444 (4 months ago)
I used to work at Walmart but don’t anymore. So, I have a lot of old blue shirts and Khakis. Sometimes when I know I’ll be going to Walmart, I where those close just so I can tell off rude people I don’t work there. (I’m not rude if they are polite).
Paula Dailey (4 months ago)
The guy in the last story is a better person than I am, ‘cause I DEFINITELY would’ve pressed charges.
memertincan (4 months ago)
1% left ✌
Anthony Delfos (4 months ago)
Ha ha ha ha nice
Stephanie Noblet (4 months ago)
Why are people so dumb I mean come on
Jugainka Tiega (4 months ago)
I’m a merchandiser I feel your pain. I know how to say I don’t work here in three different languages.
Norm Rayos (4 months ago)
He really shoulda pressed charges...
randomgirlG (4 months ago)
these people have a level of stupid I don't want.... ever.
Pokemon Doge (4 months ago)
14:55 bruh I would've done with her to see her reaction when she was being a dumbass
Pokemon Doge (4 months ago)
Dang this guy was doing these vids before they were what all YouTube's were doing to instantly get toms of subs
Canadianmom 87 (4 months ago)
I would have said “I won’t press charges if I get an apology and she cleans my damn windshield”
Wildwood Hoppe (4 months ago)
Absolutely love your Channel don't care if the stories are true or false very entertaining
Thelol 225 (4 months ago)
This is the good kind of clickbait. More for a less title
Foster Davies-Smith (4 months ago)
For the last one I would have demanded a written apology in long form for every step of the situation. Make them do their homework you know?
Kat Murphy (4 months ago)
That last person is pretty sanguine. I'm impressed. I tend to be more "cold, implacable wrath of hell" when I think I've been wronged. Either that or "I must destroy them utterly and burn their remains to ashes!" Luckily people almost never piss me off, aside from certain relatives.
Dog days (4 months ago)
Asian girl story was faker than Jussie Smolletts. (had to look up the name twice, fucking N names)
RAY.S 3523 (4 months ago)
I feel like the appropriate response to all this is "go ahead, make my day" No but really, they fuck with you and threaten you, just escalate it all the way, they'll be the ones in the wrong after everything is over. "OMG You can't say that to a customer" response: "I am a fellow customer, so yes, I can say that to you, ya [insert even worse thing]" "I want to speak to your manager" response: "I'm apparently a stupid lazy employee, so why should I help you when you want to threaten me? Fuck off get him/her yourself cunt" I don't get why whenever a-hole customers feel and employee is doing a bad job and being unhelpful, that they are suddenly going to help the customers get the fucking manager.
Xenon (4 months ago)
That last one XD. I got to say, some people just don't care to listen sometimes.... \('.')/
Mimi Sardinia (4 months ago)
EB Games? Sounds Australian, but they used "flip-flops"? Maybe so as not to get Americans confused.
Masha Mitchell (4 months ago)
13:29 I've worked a lot of retail and I'll tell you a manager would never get my phone until the end of my shift even if I was on it when I shouldn't be. It'll go in a pocket, locker, or my car, but another adult retail worker thinking she's getting my personal property as punishment isn't happening.
Kat Murphy (4 months ago)
Agreed! I used my phone as a watch, since most of the time I had no wristwatch, and several times my relatives were in the hospital and I wanted to be reachable if anything bad happened.
Green Spear (4 months ago)
That old Canadian man is so sweet. LMAO
Kylo Rem Gaming (4 months ago)
Target story is fake. I work for Target. No leadership would do anything like that for Target. Nice try though.
Kat Murphy (4 months ago)
Hey, no matter how good MOST managers are there's always a few bad ones lurking around. At Walmart I had a manager make fun of me because I was sick and had lost my voice. That guy happened to be the most useless manager I knew, always going around with a clipboard but almost never actually doing anything. At Russ's a manager- not mine, thank God, she was always rude, impatient, and disrespectful- got fired for calling the Pepsi vendor a gay slur. And then at the same store an antisocial jerk was promoted to manager because they were desperate (that's apparently what happens when you treat managers so poorly they keep leaving) and he promptly started to deny us our breaks, when we weren't even busy, in violation of company policy and federal law. The unhappy combination of his actions and the assistant store manager's reaction in ignoring his rule-breaking but writing me up for taking extra time on the break he did give us so I could both pee and eat (I have a weak bladder and low blood sugar issues) caused a breakdown (because it reminded my of my childhood when rules were ignored for the bullies but enforced against me when I tried to protect myself. It's stupid, I know, but I'd gotten through my childhood by telling myself that they wouldn't do that when i was an adult, and I just couldn't handle realizing that I would never, ever be secure from bullying and abuse) and I'm now disabled.
Albrat Gaming (4 months ago)
I love the first one... Seems just like what I would do. Though I might stand just outside the door and say "selling last known copy of UFC 80 dollars!" Then smile at the guy. XD No6. I would have demanded my pay check and severance money. She could fire me on the spot, as long as I got my weeks pay as cash in hand.

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