Thanks for joining me on this edition of Fun with Ret’Hell Episode 5.
I choice 5 funny Reddit stories from retail experiences. I hope you enjoy! And More?!
If you have a story you want to submit, please send it to [email protected]
You can read these and other stories at www.reddit.com
1) If only he asked nicely I could have told him I don't work here. self.IDontWorkHereLady
2) She was just a human being asking another human being for a hand. self.IDontWorkHereLady
3) I want to speak to your manager!! self.IDontWorkHereLady
4) My 3 Year Old Students Read Better Than You self.IDontWorkHereLady
5) Lady just wastes her own time, thinks she "won" self.IDontWorkHereLady
6) If I work here then what's my name? self.IDontWorkHereLady
7) No I don’t work here... if I did it wouldn’t look like this! self.IDontWorkHereLady
8) Third time's the-- aw dammit! self.IDontWorkHereLady
9) Just don't grab people self.IDontWorkHereLady
10) Gas station attendant self.IDontWorkHereLady
Music by Kevin MacLeod “Monkeys Spinning Monkeys”, “BossaBossa”
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
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For the target one, if I had the time, I would toooootallyyy follow her to the office and let her try and prove to me how I worked there. The slow realization would be priceless lol. Oh and it wouldn’t hurt to request some payment since I’d apparently been working and hadn’t been paid yet
"Would you like to press charges?" The answer is always yes, people like that need to learn. Granted, they won't, but hey, can't make stupid mistakes expecting not to get punished.
I've been punished or accused so many times for things I didn't do that I have 0 sympathy for people expecting they are above punishment.
You fixed a fawking SERIAL port? WOW! Say "hello" to the 19th century for me, 'eh? Do you also replace hand-cranks on cash registers, besides, too? (cf https://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&q=hand%20crank%20cash%20register&tbs=imgo:1 )
I was mistaken for a restaurant employee once but the person apologized immediately. I am only five feet tall, but can escalate from perfectly nice and friendly to "Touch me again and I will fucking shoot you" in the coldest deepest voice you will ever hear from a female this small and am not the least bit afraid to raise my voice firmly.
Are people actually this incompetent? Getting close to finishing high school and i actually started to get excited about getting out on my own, now I wanna go back to primary school where everything is f***ing sunshine and rainbows.
That target lady has no authority calling anyone a bad employee, what kind of manager doesn't know the names of their own staff, how do you manage, train, and supervise people you don't know? Maybe she was a transfer or something...
If I was in a sitiation like the last post I would press charges just to teach those idiots a lesson. Even if the car already has dents or was stole, it is still someone ELSES property and you have no right to damage it. And even if he was a worker, beeing rude af is unnacceptable.
14:00 Wow... like. I’m bad with names and faces at work. But I could never picture a manager... well, there are kids who do sneak away so I can understand her being mad. Maybe if customer sow you and thought you worked there. But how hard is it for a manager to take note of who’s working that day? Or take a hint? Even if you where lying she could fire you later.
I hope as the final guy drove away, he looked back to see the Officers giving the two Crazy Ladies a VERY STRICT Lecture on Wasting Police Time and telling them they should be lucky Driver Guy isn't pressing charges for Damage to his Property.
Lesson for ya, Crazy People: the Police are NOT your personal slaves AND CAN and WILL bite you in the ass!
Man I was confused for a Wal-Mart employee like four years after I quit, in a store I never worked in, while wearing tan 5.11 tactical pants, my fucking duty belt and thigh holster (with my sidearm in it), a green polo and a ballistic vest with giant reflective letters that said "SECURITY". I was there getting a sandwich because I didn't want gas station food and Taco Bell was the only place near me I could eat while at work and it was closed. So while driving between client properties I stopped in to get food.
Once I got back to the deli, some couple, yep Karen and her husband, approached me and demanded I go and check in the back for a book shelf.
I just looked at them and walked away. I get up front to buy my food and there they are, screaming at a poor CSM who had no idea what was going on. Karen's husband then sees me, and like a fucking idiot, approaches me and got inside my personal space to start yelling at me. Remember what I said I was wearing? Yeah, loaded fucking gun, can of OC spray, baton... (But no taser, not certified to use one nor do I own one) The works. At this point the dude drew the attention of the stores contracted security guard. Poor unarmed security guard walks up to see what's going on, before anyone can say anything else I told her to stay back and call the police. Guy hears the word police and he turned and ran out of the store. Meanwhile Karen is still yelling at the poor CSM. I pay for my food, and call my boss to tell him I'm going to be off all sites for a while and what just happened. Cops showed up about two minutes after the call because the stores security told them some guy was screaming at an armed security guard and they were worried he might get himself shot.
Two weeks later, I'm on our problem site, one that had been robbed four times under our care. (We weren't incompetent, they hit when we were off duty) It's like 1 in the morning and I've parked the car in a line of used cars and cut the lights and engine to watch the spot of the property where the break ins occurred. And who do I see looking at cars? Fucking Karen and her husband. So first thing I do, call my boss at like 1 in the morning and tell him who I see. I was told to call the police and then get them off the lot. So I called the sheriffs office because they're literally 4 minutes down the road from where I was at and the police were about 20, and when a deputy showed up I slid over to that side of the lot and told her the whole story from two weeks prior, then we made our approach. I initiated contact, told them I remember them and hope they were fine from the other night, and then firmly told them they could not be on the lot outside of normal business hours and that they had to leave. Karen flips her shit and starts screaming, her husband, clearly very agitated, stomps towards me. At that point, my sidearm came out of the holster and I went into myself from my main job, which was a correctional officer. Went from nicest guy in the world to I'm about to make you bite the fucking curb faster than you can blink, like Dark Helmet to Darth Vader. The deputy pops out to my right taser out and laser bouncing around the guys chest. Karen screamed and backed off. Once the deputy came out I got quiet and let her give the commands, after all, I'm just a security guard, she's the actual law enforcement officer. Dude see's he's about to be tased and possibly shot, so he complied with her commands. Both of them went to jail that night for misdemeanor trespassing. And no, those two weren't the thieves from the thefts mentioned earlier, they were just trying to look at cars without a salesman harassing them, they're just assholes. Those guys were caught a month later when they stole a Porsche that had a GPS tracker in it.
That last story pisses me off. The fuckwad wouldn't press charges? Stupid shit for brains ruins the world for the rest of us. Now these assbitches completely get away with it!!!!!!!!!! I fucking HATE when people act like their so nice and don't press charges. YOU are the problem. Bitch ass whores won't learn their lesson if you keep acting like a fucking pussy. Fuck you pussy.
okay I feel kinda bad now, I'm normally a really nice and polite person, but when I have a bad day I don't bother to show it. I'm still trying to be nice but if someone is rude I don't even try to be nice to them, at that point they just fucked up. It's one of the reasons I don't want to work with customers directly.
But now I feel bad since so many people seem to struggle with human interaction, rude people or just plain confrontations. If I ever see someone harrasing another person I will step in. For an example, I would have pressed charges.
My Dad has a hi-vis jacket that he wears when he's on contract working on an oil rig or a large ship. He wears it in public too because it's waterproof. He cannot count the number of times he's been wearing it at the train station and someone has asked him the train times because hi-vis jacket=rail worker in so many people's heads.
14:50 Oh i would have called the cops right in front of her "Hello, there's a Employee in Target attempting to steal from me and she's yelling at me rudely for no reason, she's probably going to assault me so she can rob me"
I literally have the opposite problem. I'm disabled with mobility devices, and people will assume i don't work here to the most ridiculous levels. For example I'm literally next to the table near the back, with the register, my coffee, and filling out paperwork. A guy comes up to me and says "Youmust really like this store, you've been here all day! I saw you yesterday too!"
News flash: disabled people work too.
I used to work at Walmart but don’t anymore. So, I have a lot of old blue shirts and Khakis. Sometimes when I know I’ll be going to Walmart, I where those close just so I can tell off rude people I don’t work there. (I’m not rude if they are polite).
That last person is pretty sanguine. I'm impressed. I tend to be more "cold, implacable wrath of hell" when I think I've been wronged. Either that or "I must destroy them utterly and burn their remains to ashes!" Luckily people almost never piss me off, aside from certain relatives.
I feel like the appropriate response to all this is "go ahead, make my day"
No but really, they fuck with you and threaten you, just escalate it all the way, they'll be the ones in the wrong after everything is over.
"OMG You can't say that to a customer"
response: "I am a fellow customer, so yes, I can say that to you, ya [insert even worse thing]"
"I want to speak to your manager"
response: "I'm apparently a stupid lazy employee, so why should I help you when you want to threaten me? Fuck off get him/her yourself cunt"
I don't get why whenever a-hole customers feel and employee is doing a bad job and being unhelpful, that they are suddenly going to help the customers get the fucking manager.
13:29 I've worked a lot of retail and I'll tell you a manager would never get my phone until the end of my shift even if I was on it when I shouldn't be. It'll go in a pocket, locker, or my car, but another adult retail worker thinking she's getting my personal property as punishment isn't happening.
Hey, no matter how good MOST managers are there's always a few bad ones lurking around. At Walmart I had a manager make fun of me because I was sick and had lost my voice. That guy happened to be the most useless manager I knew, always going around with a clipboard but almost never actually doing anything. At Russ's a manager- not mine, thank God, she was always rude, impatient, and disrespectful- got fired for calling the Pepsi vendor a gay slur. And then at the same store an antisocial jerk was promoted to manager because they were desperate (that's apparently what happens when you treat managers so poorly they keep leaving) and he promptly started to deny us our breaks, when we weren't even busy, in violation of company policy and federal law. The unhappy combination of his actions and the assistant store manager's reaction in ignoring his rule-breaking but writing me up for taking extra time on the break he did give us so I could both pee and eat (I have a weak bladder and low blood sugar issues) caused a breakdown (because it reminded my of my childhood when rules were ignored for the bullies but enforced against me when I tried to protect myself. It's stupid, I know, but I'd gotten through my childhood by telling myself that they wouldn't do that when i was an adult, and I just couldn't handle realizing that I would never, ever be secure from bullying and abuse) and I'm now disabled.
I love the first one... Seems just like what I would do. Though I might stand just outside the door and say "selling last known copy of UFC 80 dollars!" Then smile at the guy. XD
No6. I would have demanded my pay check and severance money. She could fire me on the spot, as long as I got my weeks pay as cash in hand.
Personally with the Target Manager one, I would have asked her (after taking a photo with my phone) that she either needed to turn around and mind her own business or go ahead and get the executive on duty there now. If she refused to do either one, I would have just pulled out my phone and called the store and asked to speak to the executive on duty and ask them to join us in aisle whatever. If she, by some stretch, was the executive then I'd just ask for the district number. Either way that'd be a nice write up.
Wow I'm really isolated, but this crap alone with entitled parents make me so glad that I've been disabled.
Otherwise, from sheer periodic bouts of rage I'd be purposefully spilling things on people and their stuff or aiming shopping carts for their free rolling escapes.
I can't believe the off the scale entitlement of some people who assume that EVERYONE on the planet is there to serve them. Store employees, random strangers, stray pets - who knows. I have never had the experience of someone demanding service in a store I don't work at. However, I have am quite willing to help out as a human being. Two elderly five foot nothing ladies trying to get tins of cat food from the top shelf - one directing and the other trying to climb the shelves to reach the product. Yeah, I step in. I have had numerous requests for help in big box building supply stores - probably because I am in scruffy work clothes, shopping with purpose (know what I'm looking for) and there are no staff in sight. If the person asks for my advice politely (I'm in Canada, so that's normal) I'm happy to help. Most often it's women who ask me, and I make sure to ask the right questions and steer them in the right direction. If I don't know the answer (or where the product is in the store) I loudly ask for help from the first store employee I see stooging around, explain the issue and hand it off. I don't worry too much about the time it takes out of my day, and the people I help are always thankful. But if I ever had some angry, stupid and entitled asshole demand that I serve them in a store i'm shopping in well, there would be some language. Totally unrelated, but the big box supply places can, if you're a decent guy with some knowledge (and the ability to admit you don't know everything) or a woman needing respectful advice in a man-centered environment (with a functioning BS detector), be a great place to hook up. A friend told me this.
ATTENTION TARGET CUSTOMERS:
Please do not SCREAM GRAB, DEMAND, AND ANY OTHER ABUSE TO OUR STAFF, THAT IS OUR JOB.
The following is to show how Target treats their employees, as an example of why TO BE NICE to the employees that ARE trying to help you. Not an IDWH story, but reasons to be a decent human being since Target employees are already being abused.
Back story, I was going to school during the day, so I needed a PART time job with minimum responsibility. When I interviewed I told the lady I have to have a flat schedule so I do not fall behind in school she AGREED and hired me on the spot. I go for my drug test and passed. I call to find out when I needed to go to orientation. They told me they did not get my drug test results back... total BS. So I called 2 times a week for about a month already knowing they didn't want an employee with a flat schedule, it was obvious, but instead of telling me that they just lied so I wasn't going to let it go. (I verified with the drug test lab the test was already faxed numerous times with other employee tests and Target had already got those results, so they agreed to faxed mine again)
finally they did get me in orientation with the temp Christmas help. I start working evening shift and had maybe 5 minutes of training to run the entire electronics department alone. I ran so much I was getting blisters on top of blisters and this was with high end shoes and over time increased number of socks I think by the time I left I was wearing 4--5 pairs at a time.... I was scheduled the correct flat schedule or so I thought.... 3pm-10pm but when I went to clock out I was told that to be able to leave AT 10pm the schedule would be 3pm-9:59 pm, and if you are scheduled to 10pm that means all of us 10-pm crew had to stay until the entire store was fully recovered. This meant staying till 2-4 am, when I had to be up at 6 am for school.
It sucked but I did it for a month when I started overhearing how the electronics manager wasn’t happy and as soon as another employee turned 18 they were going to can me... I didn’t care I just started applying to other companies. Funny part was a “pet” employee the electronics manager wanted in the department couldn’t bullshit his way through a pre-paid cell phone question from a customer... I never used a prepaid before so I read the package and explained it to the customer something so easy and took a few minutes of reading then explaining. So I got called by another company for an interview, better store selling clothing and shoes ... More money less work less stress...
So that Target employee turned 18, I got called in to HR to be bitched at, told I was no good and how all the employees had to help clean my department for hours every night which was total BS, it was always the toy dept that looked like a tornado hit it, twice... The employee for toys would hide in the stock room most of the time the store was open... So I basically called them on their bullshit and QUIT.
An hour later I was called back by the store I interviewed at, they hired me at an even higher pay than I thought. Odd part was Target said I was a shit employee, however at my new job I went from temporary Christmas help to fulltime Stockroom Manager in 30 days, then 5
months later promoted to a keyed Floor Supervisor ... When I had to go get some supplies that only Target sold, I heard the kid that turned 18 that replaced me did one shift staying till 2-4am, he came in the next shift worked till 10pm then clocked out, and when he was told to stay he quit on the spot.
I eventually finished school, and went to work in a hospital for a contracted company. The 5 years I spent there was FASTER than the time I worked for Target for 2 months.
When I was able to work, it was pretty much all customer service/retail jobs. I am CURSED with the "how can I help you" gene. My customers ( LOTS of regular ones) loved me, because I always did my best to make them happy. I LIKED my work! I'd get smirky when I saw how the "problem" customers were like putty in my hands.
I still have this problem; I want to help folks out when I shop. I have been known to straighten and tidy up messy merchandise, to answer questions, give directions, tell customers about the merchandise. I really appreciate a good job of "in store marketing", the way a store will organize and display their merchandise to attract customers' eyes. I will tell the staff what I like, something positive. I know that they usually always hear complaints.
When I shop, I try to be really polite and decent to the staff. It goes a LONG way.
F or 25 years we have provided deluxe wilderness outpost fishing trips from our Armstrong location into beautiful Wabakimi Provincial Park and surrounding lakes.
Yes, we take you where the fishing is extraordinary , but there is more than fishing. Yearly family gatherings sharing a wilderness experience in comfort. Father - son (or daughter) bonding trips or Husband and wife celebrating a second honeymoon with the added spectacular outpost fishing or `the buddy trips where the tall tales get taller.
Its a big time stress reliever! . how do you think about anything else when you are fighting a fish?
Greg and I had a great week. we caught over 1000 walleye. There were well over 200 in the slot size (>18"). This is the most large walleye that have ever been caught on a trip to whiteclay for me. The slot size protection is working. It seems that each trip has more large fish being caught. Our largest northern was 43". It was caught on a jig while walleye fishing.
Greg and I sent see what you missed letters to about a dozen folks. Hope that translates into a large group for next June. . Fran and I are looking forward to the August fishing trip .
G. Ostrander, Green Bay, WI.
Want to see more?
Received your card. Congratulations on 25 Years! We speak often about the great times we had at Ogoki! A Tribute to you both!
Best Regards, Rich Craddock.
What a nice surprise to find your post card in my mail yesterday. Twenty-five years is a long time to do anything; much less a business like yours with all the uncertainties of weather, exchange-rates, two-country economies, etc. There is a reason why your business has survived and (hopefully) thrived. you do the wilderness fishing experience better than anyone in the outdoor sport vacation business.
Dear Judy and Paul,
Congratulations on 25 years. I have many fond memories of my time with Jack at Ogoki. Hope all is well with you.
. . . Nicole will take you on a guided tour!
This website will take you every step of the way for a worry free fishing vacation!
Let us introduce ourselves; Judy & Paul Boucher and family. Weve been doing this for 25 years and have learned a thing or two on how to take the worry out of the wilderness experience. Our staff will help you with anything you may not understand or solve any mechanical glitch right away. In short: we treat you like family!
Just a note to let you know our recent fishing junket to your Mojikit South Outpost.
Ive been coming to Armstrong area since 1972 and have probably flown in with 6-7 different outfitters over the years to numerous outposts. Your Mojikit South camp is clearly the nicest camp I have been to. The cabin is beautiful and roomy. Great kitchen and dining area. Beautiful screened in deck and outside porch overlooking the channel. Large chest freezer and a frig that actually keeps things cold. Screened in fishing cleaning house with running water. Bedrooms that are roomy. Vaulted ceiling the the cabin is a plus. The cabin is centrally located to both the lake and the Ogoki Reservoir.
The boats are the best that Ive ever experienced at an outpost. The inside bottoms consist of flat carpeted panels. easy to get in and out of. 1st time Ive fished an outpost with "dry" feet. The boats had comfortable swivel seats and 15 & 20 hp 4-stroke engines that worked great.
We will definitely be back. Everything about Ogoki Frontier was quality. My two grandchildren had the time of their lives, as did the other 2 members of our party. Thanks for the memories.